Doubts

I would like to know your opinion regarding tarot and sexual orientation/gender. It was published in print that I was a lesbian and that I was repressing it and also that I wanted to be trans and didn't like being a woman. Anyway, don't judge me, I don't remember exactly how I arrived at this type of question or if the interpretation is correct. The complicated thing is, I don't think it makes sense to how I see myself or feel and it's causing me tremendous harm. I never imagined myself getting married or having a relationship with women, and even though I know it's possible, it's something I don't feel the urge to try or do, my dream has always been to find a good man, fall in love, get married and have children, and no, it doesn't have to do with compulsory heterosexuality or anything like that. It's something that really doesn't make sense to me, yes, I've already kissed another woman and it didn't really trigger anything in me and after that, I fell in love and married a man (we broke up for other reasons that don't have to do with sexuality), this just makes everything more confusing, because at the moment I'm doubting all the experiences I've had and felt with men, which to be honest, I hope were real and I'd like to continue experiencing that with them. Regarding the fact that I am trans, I have always tried not to fit into feminine stereotypes, but I like myself as a woman and I want to continue to be seen that way. To be honest, I don't know why this came out or if it was a wrong interpretation, I don't feel like I'm repressing myself or that I did it, on the contrary, I always liked my freedom and following what I felt. Sorry if this seems kind of stupid or something.