As an autistic woman, I’m struggling with friendships—especially with men. Need advice.

I’m an autistic woman dealing with some issues I think a few of you might relate to.

I have a childhood friend I reconnected with in 2022, and we’ve been talking regularly since then as friends. At one point, I briefly entertained the idea of it becoming more, but I shut that down and didn’t feed the feeling—which was probably for the best, because now I’m doubting whether he’s even friendship material.

Since 2022, we’ve talked about everything. I gradually opened up to him about my neurodivergence, chronic illness, and all the trauma I’ve endured—sexual, emotional, psychological abuse, you name it. Both our families (my parents and his) are part of a religious cult. Our entire lives revolved around it, and even now, we haven’t fully escaped, though we’ve both become aware of its harms. Because he knows my family and I know his, I felt safe discussing things like my mother’s narcissistic traits, my father’s abuse, and so on. At first, he seemed understanding… until he sent me a message saying all the horrible things I’d been through "helped me grow," as if they were necessary for my development—as if my identity was shaped by trauma. Keep in mind, I was talking about severe abuse and violence. Then he pivoted to asking, "So what are your flaws?" as if the abuse I suffered was somehow a personal failing.

Yesterday, I had an extreme meltdown—pain so intense I thought I might die, nausea, vomiting—while being completely abandoned by my family and so-called "friends." I begged for help, and no one lifted a finger, not even to offer emotional support. When I told this "friend" about it, his response was, "Sounds like period cramps."

To autistic women here: How do you deal with men? Because I’m about to give up—not just on them, but on friendships altogether. The worst part? I’m an adult. I was diagnosed at 27, and now at 31, I still have no proper support system. Therapy is the only thing keeping me sane, but everything else is a dumpster fire.