self love is coping

i’ve been trying to find people who feel what i feel and who hasn’t fallen for the whole “self love” propaganda, because that’s truly all it is. self love is just a feeling and a delusional one at that, self love doesn’t change your eye color, face shape, lips, skull, hair color or type, eyebrows, nose, or body. it just tell you to get over being ugly, being stuck and trapped in a place you hate with no escape, forced to look at other people who basically live in eden while ur trapped in the prison that is you. TO ME i just feel like feeling ugly doesn’t matter as long as it’s not true, even if u do hate yourself at least the world doesn’t see what u see. and with loving yourself i don’t see it as “helping” or “growing” if ur ugly, u don’t love people u find ugly and hideous so why would u love yourself? i refuse to love myself because of how ugly i am, beauty is in the eye of the beholder so it honestly doesn’t matter if i think i’m beautiful because that’s not the truth. if everyone says im ugly then im ugly, im one person and not an important one.