got my period back

what the title says. i feel bittersweet in a way. i tried to get away from being a woman, but what is meant to be will always become. i tricked myself into this and i couldn’t be more grateful. my body is my body and she does so much for me. i can run 6 miles without stopping. i go to the gym every day. i love cooking meals!! my favorite right now is so random which i won’t share for fear of breaking the rules, but trust it is a solid nutritionally sound meal. my gosh it’s perfect.

i’m still scared. constantly and always. this is the second relapse in my lifetime. i’m sure there will be a third. this was worst than the first, but my dad can’t die again. the things that happened to me cannot happen again which means there is only forward to move towards. there is only up when you hit rock bottom but you have to stop digging in order to see it.

in the words of amaya papaya: i never said i was perfect. i never said i didn’t have any flaaaaawwws. but at least i’m a little bit pretty. and at least i’m a little bit funny. and at least i’m my own best friend 🩷

i pray for all of you in here. lord knows this reddit thread gave me a grasp on life when i was at my lowest. i will be leaving now for my own wellness to look towards the future.

a bit of advice for my fellow people out there: having a little weight on you is a big fuck you to the society we live in that tells us we have to look, act, and be a certain way. two years in a relapse & a full year i spent studying the philosophy of the female body. it took that entire time but i finally get it. this is just my little character i’m borrowing to experience this beautiful and crazy world we live in. it’s not fair to ruin my experience based on the perspective of others on what i should be. to get plastic surgery, lose weight, or wear cosmetics? the world is much bigger than that.

thank you for being my community and supporting me. thank you for deleting my posts when i was unaware of how sick i was. thank you for offering a safe space to simply be without judgement. thank you for sharing your stories of recovery which have inspired my own. thank you and i wish you all well🩷