Small vent

Does anyone get the impression that. Just randomly everyone hates you? Is not like they say it to your face is just that there's a feeling saying it's not the same anymore? I don't know if I should feel hurt or scared. I'm so used to everyone leaving me that I feel numb at this point. I also wonder if maybe I just feel paranoid but every time I feel this I'm always right about it. I know we're gonna fall apart, broken into half not like before anymore. I'm so used to it but it still scares me sometimes, why am I so scared this time? Is it because I'm scared of losing someone so dear to me? I don't know what's wrong with me.

Do you know that feeling where I'm there for everyone but then they go off to their favorite person? I never felt chosen at any moment with anyone, so I try to remember anything about that any person I'm friends with, just hoping. Hoping I'll be their favorite person, the person they'll choose. I know I can come off as desperate to many people but i just want to be chosen you know? It hurts me from all of the years I've lived. Not a single one chose me, not in group projects, not in picking duos, not in asking if I wanna join them, not in anything. I feel worthless, or that everyone doesn't care about me.