Do NOT completely trust comments online for your event - this helped me.

In fact.. I’d encourage you not to treat sites online and their opinions over in real life.

Having massive REOCD- I know how it feels when you have people online saying things about people who had incidents similar to your event- but you also have to realize even the smallest details could be crucial in making a decision on if your event is actually not as and as it seems. It also depends on the person.

As an example: I tell you that I tell you I manipulated my brother into doing something against my parents wishes.

Not great right? Although not the worst. But you can only judge on that basis right? Your mind probably goes to the worst scenario.

But then I tell you I manipulated my brother into ordering us pizza against my parents wishes.

You have a very different opinion now right?

And while this is a pretty big detail even the smallest details can be crucial and again not everyone even takes the time to read the entire piece you are putting out to ask your questions. Some are just judging based on your title- or even miss parts or assume. I’ve had several people assume things or ask questions about things I already included in my text. Especially on the internet it can be extremely hard to judge if you are are talking to are opinions you should take into consideration as valuable.

Someone could be saying you’re the most horrible person in the world- and on the other side of the screen it could be a literal 12 year old who doesn’t have any idea what they’re talking about.

Someone could say you’re a danger to society- and actually be a person who has done incredibly illegal stuff in person.

Someone could say you are a bad parent- and actually be abusing and neglecting their child in real life.

But you would never actually know any of this. That is why you can absolutely 100% ask for help in online forums- but do not take it as absolute. Please do not just think you’re an awful person- and don’t just make super rash decisions because someone online said so- or a group of people are making assumptions about you. These are not professionals, they don’t know who you are, and they are only getting a small part of the story.

Now I must say- going to people in person who are trusted to you- and who know you can very much help you deal with these situations and settle what is realistic. You may say they will be “biased towards you” which I completely get- but they also know YOU. The quality of your character and the type of person you are can change things.

When I was in a crisis online people were semi helpful but I also got some really nasty comments that were telling me to do something drastic- I was going to do so- until multiple friends knew something was wrong and they checked up on me- when I actually explained the situation they genuinely were helpful to me and didn’t think I was the monster and awful person I thought I was. I went to a person who was far older than me- who’s known me for years in real life- and they also helped me see that I was not evil- and that I was not a bad person.

I encourage you guys to go to those you actually trust (not someone you barely know from school)- no- someone you trust- and if you don’t have anyone go to a therapist. When you have this type of OCD- your mind will make you completely lose reality of the situation.

People online will be nasty- yes. They might be extremely judgmental. But that is online. People would not see you in the same light if you talked to them in person. Online people are especially comfortable with saying mean things because they don’t have to face consequences for it.

Tldr: Don’t completely rely on stranger online to give you the advice and judgement of your situation. Go to people in real life and go to therapists who can help you make good decisions- and who actually know YOU.

Take care :)