maybe i just want to have an interesting conversation with God

idk ive been reflecting a lot lately about my opssation with knowledge and just knowing shit about everything and why do i have this insane need to learn about everything that life can present and i know that i can never grasp not even less then 1% of what life has to offer but i still want to gain as much of it as i can and maybe just maybe my ultimate goal out of all of this is to have an interesting conversation with god and tell him about all my questions and what i made of this life like im a non believer i can't rationalize god nor can i truly believe, my fantasy is for him to exist just so i can get closure and I don't get whats the point in that either, like if he got me to the point where all my questions will be answered in a way that makes so much sense in the same way that 2+2 = 4 makes sense even at that point all whats there left to do is to idk makes me not exist or maybe gives me few days to bask in this feeling of having no more questions to ask but still ultimately all whats there left to do is to shut me off but i guess it will be a cool moment to have before the light out maybe thats what we want after all just manifest differently irl

sorry for any bad punctuation