I (20M) think I ruined my friendship with my best friend (19F) because I caught feelings

I have known this girl for almost an year at this point as she's in my same class at university. We literally met on our first day at uni and been friends since there. Since I met here I have always knew she had a boyfriend. They have been together for 3 years. I think I met him like twice . For context, I never had a girlfriend.

We got super close in the last 3 months. We basically spent all uni days together, we saw each other before classes, had them together and hangout when we were over. Sometimes there were other people and sometimes it was just us. We kept going to uni even after classes ended to study together. And we spend lots of night awake till sunset playing games togethe or watching movies and tv shows. We got interested in each other's passions too. For example she made me start playing LOL with her and I made her play Dark Souls and guided her through it.

We became inseparable. We had our little shared rituals, she got upset when I didn't catch the same train as her, as a joke we started co-parenting a bee plushie, everyone started making jokes about us being too close and some people assumed we were together.

So naturally I caught feelings, even tho I knew she was in a relationship which she never ever complained about. I became emotionally dependent on her, everyday without her was empty and my emotions were based solely of her... I started even giving her small gifts, having extra care and attention for her and deepened physical contact. And I was so happy because she was always there for me, she never gave me any sign of pulling back or anything but she led me in. I asked multiple times to tell me if she was ever uncomfortable or anything cuz I thought we were crossing some lines but she always assured me she didn't mind anything, and that's why we never set any kind of boundary. She started describing me as her bestie and told me how happy she was spending time with me.

A few days ago at night we did a drinking game on voicechat. I drank way more then her amd wasn't sober in the slightest. I don't remember exactly how we started talking about it but I confessed. Her first reaction was: "Noooo"... Anyway we talked till 7am and being the drunken idiot that I am I've told her EVERYTHING. My feelings, how much I talk about her with my friends since I'm an oversharer and how I saw his bf and her relationship with him...

Let's just say I didn't exactly say nice things and she got pretty hurt about it. I judged her because their relationship is "not conventional" as she said it and honestly I now get it wasn't my place to judge. Just so you know they're not jealous at all, they're often apart despite living close and they don't call often. Nothing too crazy but if you sum it up it sounds a bit shallow, that's if you see it from outside. For them is something beautiful and I have no right to judge

Anyway she said she was glad I told her and that it was the right moment to confess, not too soon nor too late. She said she was now looking back at everything between us, everything I did for her thinking I did it just to get with her. I assured it wasn't and she said she knows but she can't help it. She then asked me why can't I distinguish romantic and platonic love as she knows I fell for all my close female friends I had before her.

She said she would like to pretend nothing happened but simply can't so she wants me to "get over her". Eventually we decided to stop talking for a bit. She asked me if I did want to talk just about our group uni project and I replied saying that no, I want us to talk about everything we wanted to say still and she was surprisingly relieved. We agreed we want to be friends again but we both are unsure if it'll ever be the same.

We ignored each other for a couple days till I texted her. She was leaving for a trip (and she'll be back in a week) so I texted her wishing her a good trip and telling her to have fun cuz she deserves it. She replied saying thank you and told me she knows this is difficult for anyone and especially for me so I should get myself busy and try to have fun too.

I swear, she's so sweet. I don't even deserve her. She trusted me so profoundly and I have broken her trust in a hundred pieces. She told one of our mutual friends that she was so happy she finally had a guy that cared about her without hitting on her, till I ruined everything....

How can I stop catching feelings for female friends? How can I even be sure I has feelings and wasn't just emotionally dependent? Can I still fix it some way?

P. S. Sorry for my messy English and the excess of useless details, I am a bit in an emotional turmoil right now.