
My bf is my first love and the thought of leaving him feels like I’m genuinely having my heart ripped from my chest. Despite my love for him, there is a sense of incompatibility between the two of us and there are constant issues/ problems. I feel like we may have two different ways of showing and expressing love, as well as two different ways of communicating. This makes  it really hard to maintain any kind of healthy relationship with him, if not impossible. I feel like he’ll often do things that are very hurtful to me, and then rather than apologize, he wants to argue, and then he just wants to move on. While I give him a lot of grace, he’s very much capable of communicating and I feel he suffers from crippling insecurity and often takes that out on me. Let me give you an example of some of the behaviors I’m referencing. So I recently started a new birth control at this time and it was causing me to break out. He was aware of this. Me and him are walking into the target and I say out loud “I’m breaking out so bad I feel so ugly.” Fast forward, we are in the store and looking at things when he looks at me in shock and points out the fact that I’m breaking out. Of course, I felt hurt because he was pointing out a flaw I already pointed out on myself and said I was feeling insecure about. To me it just felt like an unnecessary thing to say. I told him it kinda hurt my feelings, but I didn’t make it into a big deal or try to argue. I just genuinely had my feelings hurt and was feeling self-conscious. He walked away from me and left me alone in the target, mind you I live in a completely different city from him so I’m in a target where I don’t know where anything is at, he was my ride there, and now I’m by myself. This had all started because he made a comment about me, and it felt like I was being punished now for having said anything to him. Eventually, I called him after not being able to find him in the store, and we meet back up. At this point he’s in a really bad mood. He said he doesn’t wanna do anything anymore and he’s done shopping. When we get back in the car, he’s raising his voice to me being extremely disrespectful and I feel like this is a common occurrence. He often says things like “why do you have to make everything into a big deal” “it’s always something” and other phrases like that that make me feel like a burden for having feelings. Not just in this specific scenario but any, and every time I bring something to his attention, the likelihood of him raising his voice, getting defensive with me, being rude, and trying to fight me on it is extremely high. I feel like for a 20-year-old I communicate really well and I do believe that I am years beyond my age in that sense, so I understand that we’re young and that there’s a certain level of immaturity there. But at the same time, I shouldn’t feel guilty or hesitant to talk about my feelings for fear of a reaction. I feel unheard, I feel like he doesn’t take me seriously, and I feel like all I’m asking for is basic respect and communication. I don’t believe in arguing I believe in conversation and more recently ive been extremely triggered by his responses to me and have caught myself also raising my voice and coming out of character. It’s really difficult for me to think about walking away. I feel like I owe him something for some reason, and I genuinely do love him and know he loves me. There’s so many things that I was willing to sacrifice and look past to have a future with him, but I’m honestly getting tired of being in a relationship where I’m not receiving the treatment I both want and deserve. This may sound conceited but I know that a lot of men would move mountains for me. I’m beautiful. I’m smart. I’m funny. I’m outgoing. I’m kind. I get a lot of male attention and I am very confident in myself and very aware of my value as a young woman, which is causing me to further resent him. While I know what I bring to the table, I still find myself settling. I almost feel trapped and I hate it. I wish he could just love me correctly and I don’t know what to do especially after having had already communicated these issues to him repeatedly. Any advice is appreciated.

Am I expecting too much? Me 20F and my Bf 20M can’t seem to keep the peace. Is it time to break up?