[658] Matador - Criticism #2

Copied from last post as I am looking for similar criticism:

Hi! Thank you for taking the time to critique my story. Below are the things I am looking for criticism on.

This story is the final story of my metafiction collection. Just before it, there is a conversation between the author and the story on how they are not going hard enough. So, they decide to create Matador. In short, this story tries to convince the reader that the author is going to kill themself. When reading the story I would really like to know: do you buy that? Do you, as a reader who does not know me personally, buy that I am suicidal and that this weird metafiction "thing" is the only way express that. It reads like a confession/suicide note and I really want this to be a sort of info hazard. Where by reading it, and not reaching out or something, you feel complicit in the suicide if it were to happen.

NEW REQUEST: For this second crit request, I have gone with a much softer approach. I THINK it's clear, and most importantly, more believable that the author is genuinely depressed and has for real begun to make plans to kill themself, but of course I'm not sure. Let me know what you think!

To be clear, I am not suicidal. I hope the fact I am asking for criticism on it makes that pretty clear lol.

[Matador]

[942]

[Half assed 1257]