It's the small moments that compound the misery

Longtime reader, first time poster etc. HLM married for 20 years to LLF. From the UK, hat tip to all the Brits here on DB.

Got married young, only woman I've ever been fully, well, y'know... It wasn't always a low frequency relationship. Our courtship was passionate and the honeymoon was all that you'd hope for. We were young, didn't know what we were doing but had fun finding out.

It's difficult to discern if there was a tipping point or just a slow decline (probably the latter) but our bedroom has gone from hot, to lukewarm, to a bit chilly and now freezing cold (albeit with the occasional momentary flicker).

We make good parents and great companions. We mostly enjoy each other in nearly all areas of marriage but the spark, hers at least, has gone.

It's the small moments that compound the misery; when she laughs at the towel photo I sent, when she refused to dress up for my birthday meal because she'd had a long day and stayed frumpy, when she gives the occasional lackluster HJ to 'keep me off the porn'.

There are lots of kinky things I'd love, a sloppy session for the little bishop for starters, but more than anything I'd just like to be wanted again. A bit of desire, just a bit.

Dear DBers how do you cope with not being wanted? Healthy or unhealthy suggestions please, I won't judge.