Should I attend an old friend's wedding?

Hi all! This is my first reddit post, so I'm sorry in advance for any mistakes (CW: SA). I, a 28F, have been invited to an old friend's wedding ("Denise", a 28F). I have known Denise since I was 12 years old. We were best friends throughout all of middle and high school. Denise and I were part of larger friend group, but we spent even more time together outside of that group. We did EVERYTHING together -- afterschool choir practice, mass on the weekends, dinners with our parents, the whole nine yards. Denise and I both had a dry sense of humor, and we loved being creative together, so we made a great team.

Unlike most people, my friend group actually stayed in touch in college as well. Our group chat was very active, like we texted every day. Even though we went to college in different places, we met up for hangouts in our hometown every school break. I probably spoke to Denise on the phone once a month to catch up on her latest college stories and dating escapades.

Unfortunately, I had a reeeeally difficult experience in college. After three years, I had to leave college due to a mental health hospitalization. I took one year off from college, and during that summer, I lived with Denise as I completed a summer internship. Denise knew about the difficulties I had in college, and she was always really supportive. She would listen to me when I needed to vent, and she was so patient with me, knowing how much I had gone through. I also felt like I was good friend to her, as I helped her navigate a breakup that summer.

But then something happened that changed the trajectory of our friendship. I was still going through an active mental health crisis while I lived with Denise. One day, I was in an extremely scary situation, and I ended up stealing non-prescription medication from Denise and was hospitalized again due to an SA. I was in such a dark place, but I felt even worse for stealing from my best friend. She visited me in the hospital, and I apologized profusely, but the walls between had already gone up. She was so angry with me for stealing from her, and she seemed actually much more concerned about that than my wellbeing.

Thankfully, I was able to receive the treatment I needed, and I was able to complete my degree at a different university. Denise and I still spoke over the next couple years, but not nearly as often. At 23, I also came out as a lesbian, and Denise almost stopped talking to me completely. She had always vocally supported the queer community, but she was still Catholic, so I wasn't sure if she stopped talking to me because of that or if it was because of the previous summer. I sadly ended up "breaking up" with my friend group that I had for over 10 years because I didn't feel supported by them after I came out.

Fast forward to today. I am happier than I have ever been! I got married a couple years ago to a woman that makes me so happy to be alive. I've been in therapy for over 7 years, and even though it's crazy difficult, I work so hard to take care of myself. Denise sadly didn't come to my wedding. I have seen her a few times over the years, along with some of my other friends, so I definitely wanted to invite her, and I thought we were on good terms, but she didn't even RSVP or send a gift. I don't even care about a physical gift, and I totally understand when people aren't able to travel for a wedding due to time/costs, but it seemed like she didn't even care to show support in any way.

Denise's wedding is coming up this fall, and my wife and I received an invite. I don't really know Denise's fiancé, but I met him once, and he seems like a nice guy. My wife doesn't want to go because she doesn't think Denise has supported me or our relationship in any way. It's also in another state, so we would have to pay for flights, rent a car, and use PTO.

I am on the fence. I'm angry that Denise hasn't shown any outward support for my new happy life and relationship. But this is someone that I used to be so close with, that has seen me at my best and worst. I don't want to be petty and not go just because she didn't go to my wedding. But should I put in all the work and money to attend the wedding of someone who doesn't have my best interest in mind? Should I ask Denise directly if she supports my marriage, and make a decision then? I could definitely use some advice on what you would do in my situation. Thanks in advance to all of you<3