r/AITAH•
Clori26

AITAH for being suspcious that husband suspected of cheating has location on but hates the timeline feature

I have suspected him of cheating for a long time now, and for many reasons. When I first started to question him, he called me crazy and paranoid. He acknowledged on and off that a lot of his behavior, and actions, are suspicious, and said so himself at times. He said they could make it look like he's cheated. However, at the same time, he would insist that he hasn't, refusing to discuss it, whilst continuing to act shady. He would criticize the reasons why I suspect him. He justified his anger, and defensivness, by saying it was normal after being questioned and accused when you're innocent.

Last year he did several things which made me convinced he had cheated, and that he did so during his volunteering shift. Something which I believed he was using as a cover. I asked him to turn his location on during his shifts, and he did so, seemingly fine with it at first. After a few times of it showing him at the right place, it showed him elsewhere, and he said that it was a glitch. It also turned off a few times and he said that it was a connection issue. He started to complain that it felt wrong having it on because he hadn't cheated, and because he knew he was innocent.

He called it controlling after reading reddit posts, ignoring our situation as usual. He told me his mother, who he has used against me from the start, told me that it was coercive control. However, he told me after that she never said this, having lied about things she's said in support of him many times. This irked me after he questioned and accused me of cheating for years, over considerably less, and was controlling in many ways. This is all I asked for him for transparency, in an attempt to rebuild trust. His timeline said "missing activity" for the first time, when he was supposed to be in his shift, and it usually showed that.

It was after this that he started complaining about the battery impact, which was very minimal. He exxagerted it and when I challenged him, he got angry. He criticized the timeline specifically saying that it was invasive, wasn't necessary, was hard to turn off, and didn't improve location accuracy. After this he refused to turn his location on anymore. That was until months ago when he said he wanted to do anything to rebuild trust, and offered to turn his location on again. He turned it on and this time he had it on 24/7. However, he continued to act shady, doing more than before.

When I'd question anything he had done, or was doing, he would act like the location being on was enough to clear him. He said that he thought it would make me worry less, and that I'd accuse him less, as well. He admitted that he was doubtful trust could be rebuilt, and didn't seem invested in actually doing what it took to rebuild it, refusing to give me reassurance and still getting angry with me questioned. He said the same things as before that it's a tough pill to swallow, and that he knows he's innocent, in regards to me thinking that he's not.

He was doing his shifts frequently, several times a week, and told me he wanted to keep that up. That he wanted to keep a good reputation with the head volunteer. When he offered to turn his location on, he had only gone a few times in the span of months. He had a bunch of reasons for why. But on the surface, it seemed he didn't care, or that something was stopping him. He was ignoring the head volunteer, and didn't seem to care about how that looked. The last time he went, the third time in five months, he again criticised the timeline being on telling me that it wasn't necessary.

He wanted to turn it off and the only thing that stopped him was me saying that I don't check his live location constantly. He's doing a shift today and he's been behaving suspciously in the weeks leading up to it, staying up all night as he tends to do when he seems up to something, and various other things he's done before. I questioned what his problem with the timeline is, and he said that it could be wrong, that it is influenced by his live location. And that it's off it could show him elsewhere. When the timeline doesn't work that way, at least I don't think it does. It's more accurate than live location.

He is at his shift currently and I checked the location and it's off. I strongly suspect that he is either not doing his shift, or is finding time to meet up with someone somehow.

Posted Jul 28, 2025, 6:10 PM UTC

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