[23M] Never Been in a Relationship – Need Some Honest Guidance

Hey everyone,
I’m a 23-year-old guy from Kerala and wanted to share a bit about where I’m at in life when it comes to relationships and social confidence — and hopefully get some guidance or suggestions.

So to start with, I’ve never been in a relationship. Not because I didn't have the chance, but because I never really tried. I never proposed to anyone or made serious efforts in that direction. It’s not just about fear either — I’m someone who looks at things logically. I think in terms of probability: if I feel there's a decent chance of being accepted, I might go for it. If the chances seem low, I step back. That mindset has held me back a lot.

I’d describe myself as an ambivert. I don’t usually initiate conversations, but if someone starts talking to me, I can match the vibe easily. I’m pretty confident in my sense of humor, and I usually try to make sure the person I’m talking to feels good and comfortable. I respect people deeply and I never want anyone to feel bad or less because of something I said or did.

But because I rarely take the first step, I don’t have many close female friends. Especially online — for example, on Instagram — I hesitate to follow or DM anyone. It’s not that I want to stay “low-key,” it’s more like I start overthinking. What will they think of me? Will they assume I’m that kind of guy who randomly slides into DMs? These kinds of thoughts usually stop me from doing anything, even when I genuinely feel like connecting.

That said, I’m not desperate for a relationship. I’m not in a hurry or chasing after something just for the sake of it. But I do feel that at this point in life, especially at 23, it’s time to at least start looking for something meaningful — if someone comes along who shares the same vibe or energy, I’d be open to that. So yeah, I guess you could say I’m in search of the right person, not just anyone.

I’ve also been thinking about changing some of my habits — maybe trying to be a bit more open, take more initiative, and put myself out there without overthinking every step. It’s not easy, but I feel it’s necessary.