Spouse of 18 Years Came Out As Ace. Help

My (44M) partner (52F) finally understands that she is asexual. I have suspected for a very long time, but there have been so many other things it could be, namely chronic illness and trauma. I kept asking, kept wondering, and it was always "no, I'll be fine after ____" or "it's just because of (stressful thing)." I stayed because she is my favorite person, my best friend, and my biggest support. She loves me very much *romantically*, which is confusing to me. And every now and then, there'd be a month or two of the greatest sex of my life--and I'm not at all asexual, so that was *important* to me, that was soul food.

To *her*, it's like... a special back rub. The loneliness of that hits like a knife. And I almost feel betrayed? Because I've been bringing it up for 15 years, and she wouldn't even consider it or do any reading. So I believed her when she said it was just trauma and we'd work it out. I stayed faithful, even when I was choking on loneliness. She's finally going to allow me to date, which is... ethically necessary, to be honest.

I am genuinely happy for her. I hope that her acceptance and understanding of herself leads to positive change in her life. But I am in pain about it. I do have a therapist. My DMs are open if anyone has been through something similar, and either wants to share, or has an ear for a stranger screaming into the void.