Seeing a guy who has no ambition

I’m a 40 year old female and I’ve been seeing a guy who’s 43 years old for the past two weeks. We’ve been on about 3 dates so far and he’s fun to be around, but doesn’t seem to have any ambition. He was in a band in his 30s and he was mainly working in music most of his life. He works at a grocery store and quit his job this week because of some work drama. He told me he was looking for another job as a building manager. It’s confusing to me because he went to a good university and majored in philosophy. He told me he can’t really find a job with his degree, which I feel like isn’t true. He also has some bad habits like drinking every night and smoking. I don’t know if he’s an alcoholic because i just met him, but it seems to be the case.

My question is should I give this guy a chance? I really enjoy being with him and he makes me laugh. He’s really sweet too and I think a part of me feels bad for him and wants to take care of him. Am I being shallow because I want a guy who has a successful career? I’m an ambitious person and currently getting my doctorate degree in social work and I’ve always dated guys who were the same. Will I regret it in the future if I continue to see him?

Posted Jul 29, 2025, 6:10 AM UTC

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