What matters more in friendships — effort matched or deeper connection?

The older you get, the more your social circle gets smaller and the more selective you are about people in your life. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I spend my time and who I invest in.

There are friends who match my effort who I might not connect with at a deeper level. But they show up in good times and bad. It’s usually good vibes all around and just enjoying each other’s presence. But that doesn’t always mean I feel comfortable sharing the depths of what I’m going through with them. Maybe some things here and there. But more convo topics tend to be on the surface level.

Then there are the friends I have a deeper connection with who I feel most comfortable being vulnerable with. I may not see them as often, but we usually pick up where we left off. And sometimes the missed opportunity to reconnect is more so who’s gonna take initiative and I’m noticing it’s more of me doing that as of late and it’s starting to become very tiring and I rather just do my own thing at that point.

I know there’s value in having different types of friendships in your life for balance. But at what point does effort matched > deeper connection and vice versa?