I want to die so badly, I'm inferior to everyone!

Basically title, I'm so tired, I wish I could get a break for this, an escape, but I feel the only escape possible from this is death! I wish I had the courage to kill myself, but I'm too incompetent even for that.

Everyone is overwhelmingly, insanely better than me at everything I do, it's so frustrating! My art is ugly, my games.... they don't even deserve to be called games as they fail at the very point of video games, which is to BE FUN! How can you call yourself a "game developer" when you're incapable of meeting the MOST IMPORTANT CRITERIA THAT MAKES A VIDEO GAME A VIDEO GAME?!

And they're everywhere, constantly showing, constantly shining, gaining awards, adoration, or just being insanely awesome, their existence just inherently has more value then mine, they don't know what it's like to struggle, they either never struggled before, or the last time they did was so long ago that they genuinely don't remember what it's like to be terrible at what you do, and how humiliating it feels! Hence why any attempt by them to comfort me feels like the most tone deaf thing ever, they're so out of touch, and so devoid of empathy, they're literal gods among men, yet they act like just ordinary people, try to lecture me about humility when they clearly don't know jack shit about humility! Why can't they just be bad again for ONE FUCKING DAY?! JUST MAKE SOMETHING UGLY OR UNIRONICALLY BAD, GENUINELY, OBJECTIVELY BAD FOR ONE FUCKING DAY, I BEG YOU! PLEASE! DO YOU REALLY NEED TO BE INSANELY GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO EVERY FUCKING DAY?! YOU ALREADY GET TO LIVE IN CONSTANT AWE AT HOW AMAZING AND SUPERIOR TO EVERYONE YOU ARE, CAN YOU PLEASE JUST LET ME FEEL LIKE I'M GOOD AT WHAT I DO FOR ONCE?!

Or if not, then at least stop pretending to understand, stop trying to make these tone death "motivational speeches" that are extremely out of touch.

I feel like the two big examples of this extremely out of touch behavior is like when artists on youtube make videos lecturing you on humility and the importance of accepting that you're going to suck, and that it's ok to make bad art WHILE PAINTING THE NEXT FUCKING MONA LISA ON THE TIME LAPSE OF THE VIDEO! JUST COMPLETELY TONE DEATH, COMPLETELY INSENSITIVE AND DEVOID OF EMPATHY, JUST SHOWING THAT THEY DON'T ACTUALLY BELIEVE ANYTHING THEY'RE SAYING, the other big example is the indie game Chicory... which is basically the exact same as the youtube example but in video game format. I hate the kind of people who do these kinds of thing, these assholes who are devoid of empathy and clearly are only doing this to show off how amazing they are while pretending to be humble and pretending to care! I have a deep, deep resentment to them... well... I already resent those who have the privilege of being genuinely good at things as they won't shut the fuck up about it, and let me have an escape from it EVEN WHEN I LOG OFF THE INTERNET! But those who do these kinds of things... there's a special place in HELL for this kind of insensitive, out of touch, asshole!

I want so badly to have an escape, I'm desperate for it, I'd gladly throw my individuality on the trash if I could be them, but I can't, the only escape is death, but I'm too incompetent to even kill myself. I beg you, PLEASE! PLEASE! SOMEBODY KILL ME! I BEG YOU!