Toxic Relationship

Almost two months ago I walked away from a toxic relationship. At first I truly believed I was blessed to have found a good man, a future partner. But I was wrong. In the end he proved what my friends and classmates had warned me about all along. I defended him even when people told me, "You're too beautiful for him." I told them that relationships are not based on looks or appearances. I believed in choosing a good heart over a handsome face.

To be honest, he did treat me well in the beginning. He showed care, love, and made me feel emotions I hadn’t felt before. On our monthsary I shared a heartfelt poem through my story because I was proud of our relationship. I even asked his permission before posting it and he said yes. As always I went to church to pray for us, especially since we were in a long-distance relationship. I was committed to keeping our bond strong and pure.

But when I returned home and opened my phone, I didn’t find joy. Instead I was met with his anger. He sent me a screenshot from a female friend of his who had reacted to my story with the words "EXPLAIN THIS." I calmly responded saying, "What’s the issue? She’s your friend, right? Shouldn’t you be happy she knows you already have a girlfriend?"

But he didn’t answer that. He changed the topic. Then suddenly he said he wanted to break up. Just like that, over something so small. My heart shattered. I couldn’t believe that he would choose someone else, especially someone he claimed was just a friend, over me.

Later I noticed something strange in the screenshot, a kissing emoji from that girl. That was when I started to question everything. And before I could even process it all, he started throwing hurtful, disrespectful words at me. Words no woman ever deserves to hear, especially from someone she deeply loves.

That night I broke down. I hid in my room and cried silently. I come from a strict, family-oriented background so I couldn’t cry out loud. But the pain inside was unbearable. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t. And when I finally pieced everything together I realized the truth, he was already in a relationship with that woman.

I felt everything, shock, betrayal, pain. For nights and days I asked myself over and over, "Why did you do this to me?" I asked both of them. But eventually I stopped. I found my peace in letting go. I still couldn’t believe that the man I thought was so kind turned out to be someone who could hurt me so deeply. I had done nothing wrong. I gave my all and I am proud to say I fulfilled my role as a partner wholeheartedly.

Despite the pain I chose to show kindness. Not because they deserved it but because I made a promise to GOD not to hurt others, even those who hurt me. I let GOD handle the justice. I stayed true to myself because I know who I am.

To the one who hurt me, I may be a strong independent woman but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel pain. I’m deeply softhearted. And no one, no matter the reason, has the right to throw hurtful words at someone who only gave love. Stop making excuses. Stop blaming others for your mistakes. It’s pure manipulation when you hurt someone and then act like you're the victim.

I deserved respect. I deserved honesty. But even if I didn’t receive it from you I will continue to live with grace because I know my worth.

... To all the women out there, if a man cheated on you, never think that you’re not worth it. You are valuable. The problem is not you, it's the person who couldn't stay consistent. You gave your best and fulfilled your role as a partner, so stop blaming yourself.

Still, choose kindness. Move forward and focus on finding yourself first. Be the best version of who you are. Enjoy your life, even if they move on quickly or enter another relationship right after the breakup. Don’t let that bother you. Imagine this, you just came from a breakup but you're still winning because you chose to rediscover yourself.

Again and again, choose a good heart. Choose kindness and respect, even for those who hurt you. Don’t waste your energy on revenge. Remember, you are already beautiful enough for those who failed to see your worth.

Let your growth be the proof. Be proud of yourself for overcoming it all on your own. It's okay to talk to your close friends about what happened, but don’t share the full story with everyone. And never backstab those people, even when you're hurt, especially in front of your circle of friends. Just stay silent and pretty 💅🏼♀️🎀💋

Heal with grace, rise with strength, and always love yourself first... 🫶🏼🤌🏼☝🏼