I'm not good a title's

This is the only thing I'm good at it's my only friend that stays I can talk to it and I know I'll never hurt it because I can't I feel like shit I'm supposed to be better this isn't how life was supposed to be I worked hard and got a different reward seeing people doing better then me who left me leaves me enraged but I have no one to blame because it was all my fault someone might have pushed me to make me fall in the beginning multiple people did over and over but life has decided it's my responsibility to get up even though I'm not the cause of the fall