Do I need to absolutely have to see a doctor or can I fix this at home?

So I have PTSD and have not been able to follow through with any sort of gynecological appointments, pelvic exams or anything of that nature. No doctor is going to want me on their table shaking and crying and I'm starting to feel a little desperate. I'm working with mental health professionals but it's not really helping.

When I was like 11 I felt this sensitive bit on my clitoris, underneath the hood, when I looked at it with a mirror the were two or three extremely painfully sensitive brown/black bumps. Around where you pee. Possibly black heads? I freaked out and told my grandmother, she told me to ignore it and it's fine.

In my adulthood it is still very painful but simply white swollen and painfully sensitive. Almost hard, it seems extremely upset and I don't know why. I definitely feel that I need a doctor but I can not bare it.

It is constantly bothering me, I can't engage in sex normally because it is very painful. Am I able to get rid of this on my own or do I absolutely have to go to a doctor? I am so aggravated and uncomfortable lately it's driving me crazy but I don't know if I can handle the doctor. I've done some research and it seems like it could simply be a cyst, if so, I can definitely handle that on my own. I think.