She saids she loves me and doesn’t wanna lose me

I’ll try to keep this brief but to the point.. I have dated my partner for about a year and a half. We met at a friends birthday and hit it off. We decided that we were going to try and make a long distance relationship work.

She has been without a doubt a positive spotlight in my life, and our communication has been some of the best I’ve had. We even make a point to see each other one to two times a month minimum (different states) We have worked past differences in communication styles, what we need for trust and or our needs to still be independent.

We just have one big road block…. We have vastly different needs of affection. We talked about this a few times, and both have shed tears. I have raised concerns with my needs for physical affection; Kissing, hugs, cuddling, and relations and her’s for space at times in the relationship. It started amazing and has seemed to just only get rockier.

During our last in depth talk a month ago, she cried, saying that “she loves me and doesn’t wanna lose me” and informed me that at the times where she can’t show affection is because she can be overstimulated or overwhelmed to the point where it causes her pain. I reassured her, and let her know I would try my best to understand and give space when it’s needed. However, there will times in a relationship that I will need affection to feel love, safety, reassurance and validation.

I’m at an impasse, I absolutely love this girl and don’t ever want to hurt her. But at the end of that visit after we talked and the very next one 2 weeks later, I got absolutely nothing! I even gave her space and when I needed something was rejected every single time. I’m unsure if it’ll ever get better or if I’m just stuck with what I get. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t affect myself worse, Has anyone dealt with this or have any recommendations?