I was 16 and he was 29

I’ve been reflecting on our relationship since we broke up, and I’ve been left with some questions—especially after recently watching Call Me by Your Name. It’s about a 17-year-old and a 24-year-old, and it made me think about how age-gap relationships can be romanticized, even when the dynamic is questionable.

I’ve always believed that age is just a number—if two people connect, then they connect. That’s how I saw us. We met one night at a concert, grabbed food afterward, and from there we started hanging out almost every weekend, talking and really connecting. We both knew the age gap made our situation unusual, but because it felt genuine, we didn’t overthink it.

Eventually, we started dating. He was affectionate, kind, and communicative—things I appreciated deeply. But over time, I started to feel like I wasn’t thriving in the relationship. That feeling wasn’t about the age difference; it was something internal I couldn’t fully explain.

Now that we’re broken up, I’ve been trying to make sense of the situation. On the surface, nothing ever felt wrong—there were no red flags, no signs that he was trying to groom me. But I was 16, and he was 29. Looking back, I’m unsure what to make of that. It didn’t feel strange at the time, but now I’m starting to question the context and how others might view it.

I guess I’m reaching out because I want another perspective. Was our relationship as unusual as it now seems to me?