I 40F dont know how to get my boyfriend 35M to be more open sexually

My boyfriend and I got together a few years ago. We had a good relationship starting off. We would explore new things and sort of had that hot and heavy relationship start. After about a year we broke up due to some family pressure and drama. We remained friends and we were there for each other. We knew there was still feelings but we couldn't be together while all this other stuff was going on. About a year ago we got back together. Our relationship strong but the sexual chemistry a little off... we didnt sleep together while we were apart we kept it strictly friendly. I know at the time he slept with other people and Im aware of some details. The issue Im having is now the sex is pretty one sided. He doesnt put much effort in. There is no foreplay what so ever but tells me Im beautiful, he finds me sexy and that he loves me very much. We have had discussions but I dont know how to get him to be more engaged. I dont want to be stuck giving him blow jobs the rest of my life and Im left high and dry. I would like to approach the normal foreplay stuff but open it up to things a bit kinkier but I feel like a turn off to him at this point. Just not sure how to get beyond this slump!! Please help, how do I get him more engaged?