why am I still having rj

This is a throwaway, but I really need to get this off my chest. I've been dating my girlfriend for a few months and things are great, except I’m struggling with retroactive jealousy over her past. We were both virgins when we met, and I’m her first for oral too. But she had 2 hookups and 1 long-term boyfriend in high school — all three fingered her. I had no prior physical experience. These feelings have only surfaced while we've been in long distance, which will continue for another 2 months.

In contrast, I was insecure in high school — overweight, poorly groomed, and lacked confidence. In my second last year, I got into working out, had a growth spurt, and by the end of school I was 6ft+, lean, and more confident. I started getting attention from girls and had a few chances to hook up, but they didn’t work out.

I dont care that Im not her first or that she had casual hookups. But for some reason the fact that the 2 casual ones fingered her. It bothers me to no end. Her experience is very normalized in the cities that we live in, and her experience is much tamer compared to people I know and even her own friends. I have understood through videos from Zachary Stockhill (amazing guy) that these issues are because of my own insecurity due to lack of experience. I know my thoughts dont define me either. How do I get over this though. My girlfriend has told me (while trying to help) that her past never bothered anyone before and that hurt me and I hate myself for how I made her feel. I have been much better about this with her since then and we are in a great place. I love her so much and I dont want this thing to affect us.