My grades are making me go crazy and it's ruining my passion...

I am 16F in highschool who's about to go into my junior year. For context, I've always been a good student: straight A's, leadership, advanced/gifted kid, sometimes a teacher's pet. Unfortunetly, something that sets me back is my depression, suicidal thoughts, and anxiety. My freshman year however I took pretty basic on level and honors classes (except for AP Spanish Lit because I am a native speaker and varsity orchestra because im pretty killer at the violin), i took on level algebra because I honestly thought I was stupid and bad at math. Fast forward to today, entering my junior year, my schedule looks like this:

Yearbook, Varsity Orchestra, AP Calc BC, AP Bio, APUSH, AP Lit IV

Pretty "advanced" right? All APs. Yeah, I discovered I was actually pretty good at math. Like, REALLY good at math... and other subjects too. I just had a lot of doubt and wasn't confident in myself. I met a guy I really liked and we dated for a long while (Specifically 9 months, then broke up for 3 months, and got back together to finish off a year of being together), this boy was and still is a little genius, he graduated top 3 of his class (I was a freshman and he was a junior when we started dating) and averaged a 3.5 on all his AP exams, and we're talking AP Chem, Bio, APUSH, classes that I have added into my schedule because I looked up to him. Everything changed when I told this boy I wanted to take AP Chemistry in the upcoming year and he straight up told me I "wasn't smart enough for AP Chemistry". He minimized me. It broke me. Sure, I'm not Albert Einstein, but hell, I'm pretty sure I can handle AP chem. I'm aware of its complexity and difficulty but I love chemistry, I am a total chemistry nerd. (The only thing stopping me from taking it right now is that nobody else in my school wants to take it with me.) From that moment I began an "internalized" competition with him to see who is better academically, 80's and 90's aren't good enough for me anymore, I get frustrated when I get anything below a 95. Anything under 90 is a fail. I signed up for all APs as you can see above. He, on the other hand, probably has no idea how much I compared myself to him and even now I still compare everything I do to him. For example, Taking AP Precalculus over the summer? Ha! He never did that! He didn't even take AP Precalculus, I'm so much better than him.

Sophomore year was awesome, I got the role of Orchestra Presidency which is usually only reserved for seniors, I ended all classes with straight A+'s, so I have been doing pretty great so far... until now. My precalculus grade is a B+ which is driving me crazy. I'm supposed to be exceptional in math. Additionally, my summer English course is at a 74 because my teacher has accused me for using AI on an essay when I did not. She is taking points off for things that were never mentioned in the assignment's rubric. I am currently fighting for a better grade, and offering to do extra work or show proof that I haven't used AI, but I haven't gotten a response yet. The thing that's driving me crazy is that I won't get into a decent college and graduate with bad grades and I'll be comparing myself to my highschool sweetheart for the rest of my life. He was a STEM aligned student, who wants to be a surgeon. While I, on the other hand, have always been about the violin, art, and music (with a love for math and science, but has excelled more in music). I have no idea what to do. I know I want to graduate with both chemistry and music, but I will go crazy if this year I get any B's and I might potentially do something drastic if I do. No, just to clarify, I'm not talking about suicide or any self harm whatsoever. I'm talking dropping out of highschool or making the choice to not attend college.

TLDR; my grades have been dropping a little bit even though I'm supposed to be amazing at school as a straight A student

My question(s) are, how much does it matter whether I'm "exceptional" or not? Can I still get into an awesome college even if I fail sometimes? How much does it matter if I'm not valedictorian or top 10 in the long run? Sorry for the long read. It's my first reddit post hehhe