Vent 07/29/25

I don’t even think I want that much. I’m not looking for a perfect life or a million friends. I just want to feel like I’m not always on the outside of everything. Like… I try, you know? I reach out, I care, I make the effort. But it never really sticks. People drift, conversations fade, and eventually it’s just me again. And I’m tired of pretending that doesn’t hurt. Because it does. I just want something real. A friendship that doesn’t feel like a job interview. A moment where I don’t feel like I have to filter myself. Someone I can sit next to in silence and still feel understood. I want to enjoy things again. Just simple things laughing and actually feeling it, waking up without dread, going through a day without that low hum of loneliness in the background. I’m not trying to be dramatic. I just…I want to feel okay being here. I want to feel like I matter to someone. And that maybe life isn’t always going to feel this far away.