Bad move

Just had a ft with my ex. We haven’t spoken in 3 months… long story. I saw every red flag, all the gaslighting, narcissism, delusion behavior. I kept myself together, but I hung up the phone and for a solid 10 minutes I believed him. I went from being a confident, happy, successful woman to an unlovable, terrible, and broken person. The pit of insecurity in my stomach, the disgust with myself because I’m such a shitty person. I 100% felt I didn’t deserve him. That I wasn’t good enough for him.

Thank god I wrote a list of everything shitty he did. I snapped out of him, but damn ITS A SLIPPERY SLOPE!

It’s absolutely wild that I can be so aware of his cruel behavior and still end up falling into his trap. It’s honestly not worth that door being open. I thought I wanted us to be friends/civil. NOPE. Bad move.