I miss being little.

I miss being little and i want to get back into abdl, but i want to keep my promise I made to my Ex. (Here's the reason why https://www.reddit.com/r/ABDL_Advice/s/LPz4iSgnu7 ) I want to be back in diapers, i want to go back and play with my baby toys, i want someone to put me in my favorite onesie. I want to be little and forget about my problems. I want someone who will still love me even with this side of me, but at the same time I dont want to be haunted by this burden. I want to be ready for my ex if she ever returns tho. It hurts my heart so much that i'm being pulled in two different directions. I miss getting abdl art and looking at new artist and their artwork. I miss being on Instagram and posting my little side. I miss all my little friends. I miss being little, I wish everything was back to the way it was before.