Finally on the path to recovery but I am so depressed.

I went through detox for the second time in 3 months to get off this. This time around I ended up taking the subutex they prescribed even though I’m not enjoying it all. Atleast I did finally come off and I don’t want to go back to kratom at all. I can’t tell where all my feelings are coming from my new meds or still coming down from Kratom. I am so depressed. I start school this week. I’m worried. I’m struggling to take care of my basic needs. I don’t want kratom but I also am sad about giving up the only thing that was motivating me to get up and be productive for so long. I’m feeling so sad to be sober, I feel lost, bored , I don’t really want to be here. I stopped working out, barely eat, just moping depressed. I’m not present mentally in anything I do. Being around my kids isn’t bringing me joy like it used to. Everything just feels overwhelming and I sometimes think I rather check into a mental hospital to not have responsibilities. When will I be happy again? In your experience when did you start enjoying life again? I’ve only been clean lil over a week.