Anxiety and confliction with husbands family and friends.

I have struggled in social situations my whole life, I'm talking about before kindergarte, all throughout school and in all jobs. I struggle to understand the things I am saying or what other are saying, then sometimes I can get too excited in jokes or joy. But I have always been known by my family as the "bizzare child" who will say outlandish things. Essentially I have been shamed enough for my lack of understanding in social awareness that my new mechanism is to heavily mask and be quiet. As I became an adult I would tell new people I would meet(co workers or friends) that sometimes I don't understand what I may be saying or cant catch myself, that I sometimes don't understand social ques or know how to properly respond/act, and to please let me know if I ever do or say anything so that I can be self aware. Essentially warning them ahead of time about me. My anxiety over meeting people has been much worse recently to the point that I avoid social situations if I can. But I am married, and I know my husband wants me to be with him to see friends and family, but I struggle. When I first met his family it was overwhelming trying to think and do what a "normal" person would interact like, the second I had a moment alone I burst into tears sobbing. Since then it's been consistent. Almost every social gathering I have been to with my husband I have cried thinking about something I may have said or done that was pointed out to me. I dread going to social gatherings but I force myself to go for my husband because I know he wants me to be with him. I started to learn to be quiet and only talk when addressed, and truthfully it's not any better than me talking and interacting with others that I may say something off. My thought process is to now to by not go with my husband to any more social gatherings or be with him on his family vacations, I'm just not a normal functioning person socially. The guilt eats me alive that this can affect my relationship, and that I need to keep forcing myself to go out. I feel guilty and deprrssed that I'm not a girl who can be normal and have fun and interact with his friends and family in a normal manner. It's become so overheleming that the thought of it makes me cry. Tomorrow my husband and their family is going tubing in the river and next week will be the family vacation wifh everyone traveling down. I always overthink it and I always have to rehearse in my head how I need to act and what to say when addressed so I don't freeze and be awkward, or even stay silent the entire time(which also does not help a person's view on me) I don't know a healthy middle. I'm am speaking to someone about these issues.

I'm conflicted, should I go and see them to be with my husband, or do I spare him the embarrassment of being with me. These things really do ruin relationship, I'm luckily tackling it and trying to work with it. How were you guys able to overcome some of those things..?