To be fair

I do recognize my bullshit which means I can change it. It's like picking up a sliding watermelon- it slides and I must inagine Sissyfist happy or whatever.

I'm trying. I really am.

I showered since I don't know if I'm getting fisted tomorrow and I'm off to bed.

I want to feel pensive but I'm so fucking tired if being sad. For thirty fucking years plus. I'm tired of it. Be silly! Why does it have to be so serious all of the time? Ugh. Lie to me. Tell me I'm absolutely mesmerizing- that my eyes look like topaz anf I make your skin prickle.

Ha. I'm kidding. Don't lie to me. But you get what I mean right? It is sad but without sadnesscwe wouldn't appreciate happiness especially earned happiness. That's true. But sadness kills- loneliness kills. Breathe through the waves and let the current roll on without fighting it...easier sad than done.

Goidnight, Moon.