i’m losing my mind

i feel defeated. ashamed. i started dating this guy on april 25th. we made it exclusive 20/21st. i wasn’t completely committed sadly. i feel ashamed. i had texted a previous person on the 21st because i saw them out in public and i maybe was snap chatting other people. i found a booty pic of myself from the 21st and i don’t remember where it came from so i could’ve sent to someone. my mind doesn’t do a good job at remembering things. all the guys on my snap are unadded or blocked so i can’t see when the last time i talked to them was. it’s eating me alive. i can’t see if i was talking to other people. i reacted to a guys instadm on the 21st. i was doing all of this bullshit before we really started dating and i feel so awful i don’t know how to cope with it. it’s eating me alive. the guilt. i can’t believe myself. idk how to be at ease without figuring out all of the details. my mind is over exhausting everything. while we’ve been together i’ve texted no guy, i was gonna keep a couple guy friends but was overthinking and blocked the ones i was still in slight contact with. i want to be the best i can. but the fact my mind was not in a good place in our talking stage, i feel so wrong i don’t know how to feel okay. i feel awful.