What is there to really look forward to?

Maybe this is just leftover teen angsty nihilism talking here but I keep catching myself wondering what positives I can ever have in this life when everything is an endless cycle of working and struggling to get by with no change on the horizon. Even vacations I'm able to take have an overshadowing feeling that eventually it'll end and I'll be right back to things regardless for how hard I try to practice mindfulness. Regardless of how many avenues I take to overcome my emptiness I'm regularly caught back here not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't really have friends or family. All my social interaction is with a kind of FWB arrangement I don't really see taking much further interest in me, and I don't blame him. I'm an alcoholic and trying to recover. I'm a high school drop out with no GED as of yet so I'm trapped at my admittedly very well paying job, tho the company I work for is in danger at the moment. Even on my best days it feels like I'm stalling a more extreme action.