I have BPD and I get irritated when my bf falls asleep before me and I feel awful because of it

So I have BPD and this is kind of weird but I’ve noticed I get so upset when my boyfriend falls asleep before me and I feel awful because of it. I know that kinda sounds narcissistic. We both have very different sleep schedules, he goes to sleep relatively early and I can often stay up all night without getting tired. Something about him falling asleep triggers me to feel betrayed and abandoned and sometimes I get irritated or passive aggressive with him because of it. Or i’ll frantically try to do anything to keep him awake if I notice he’s getting sleepy. I feel so awful because I want him to be healthy and get good sleep but I can’t seem to stop myself from getting angry over this and I really want to stop. We don’t live together so it’s also especially triggering when he falls asleep when we hang out because i feel like he’s wasting away our hangout time by sleeping. I love him and care about his health. I don’t want to control his sleep schedule and deprive him of sleep or make him feel bad for getting sleep that he needs. The anger I feel over this seems almost natural and uncontrollable even though I know it’s wrong. Does anyone have any advice on how I can try to feel better about this or stop feeling and acting this way?