My Sag Ex is torturing me

Two weeks ago: She randomly messaged me to thank me for everything I did for her child (and her) and after I responded we started kind of casually talking some.

So we broke up 3 years ago: She has spoken to me since, but not like a normal human. More so to tell me to fuck off bc I kept reaching out the first year. I’m gay and she was my first, at the time I was in my early 20s and she was a grown ass divorced woman with a child (she’s 12 years older).

She also displayed some controlling tendencies early on that I just knew wouldn’t fare well, and we had some fundamental moral differences.

I was exploring polyamory at the time and I was EXTREMELY HONEST with her about myself. Flayed myself, told her all my secrets, etc. .Eventually she gave me an ultimatum (stop living your life the way you want and live it the way I want or we can’t fuck, plus commit to me). I rejected it at first- I loved her at first sight, I knew she would eat my soul and shit it out.

Fast forward to me moving 11 hours away from everyone I know and love to live with her and her toddler child (acting like a family, I do most of the childcare and house duties bc her new job is less flexible). She immediately starts being colder towards me- not always, mind you. We had A LOT of the best soul merging sex of my life to this day. For hours on end. Even during a fight lol.

Ultimately she couldn’t stand the way I socialized, thought I didn’t have good boundaries, too open. So she started blowing up on me more and more- saying the most cruel shit, making me sleep in another room (I’ll spare you the deets). I loved and trusted her, so I believed the horrible shit she would say about me. It wounded me deeply.

To make a long story slightly shorter, eventually I descended into mental illness and she made me wanna kms but I was too attached to her to leave. I could never reject her, she was like my religion. Therefore, I pressed self destruct and went ape shit, blew up on her during an argument, and cheated on her. So she left me.

I’m now in the healthiest relationship of my life, financially successful, and haven’t had a breakdown since we broke up. So naturally she decides to creep back in.

Testing me, sexting me, nudes, telling me she never stopped loving me, etc. I did feed into it at first bc literally I feel like she lives inside my mind. I dream of her, I think of her every day (and have since we met). I feel like I fuck her telepathically sometimes lol.

But ultimately had to reject her and now she’s lecturing me, doesn’t believe I’ve changed since I engaged with her inappropriately while in a relationship, but at the same time said she doesn’t want to ruin my life (ie asked me to come fuck her even though I’m with someone. I didn’t but ugh, came close).

I don’t know what to do, I know I fucked up by feeding in but I can’t help myself. I also know that my life now is amazing and I don’t wanna ruin it. What should I do? She’s a bitch and she pisses me off to no end, but she also makes my brain pump more oxytocin and dopamine than any person, drug, or experience I’ve ever had 😩😮‍💨 evil siren.

Me: Aries Sun, Aquarius Moon, Rising, Venus (30f). Her: Sag Sun, Pisces Moon, Cancer Rising, SCORPIO 💀 Venus (42f).