Should I just give up on dating?

haven't been on any dating apps in a while , but i have used them for 3-4 months at a time since 2011 (I would take frequent breaks and then get back on them and keep repeating the cycle)I was telling my therapist yesterday that I am on the fence about wanting a relationship ever again. I have never felt fulfilled in any relationship I have been in. I didn't enjoy much about them. Somehow, I wonder if being with someone else would be different. I was verbally abused in all my relationships, which is my fault because I have a problem speaking my mind and I am too nice.

I am afraid of getting hurt again. Terrified. I worry that a relationship will be too hard for me and I will want out and hurt someone. I also don't like living with anyone but I eventually want to buy a house and it might feel weird to live in a house alone. I do , however, have curiousity as to what it is like to be in a relationship with mutual respect, but I know there will be tears, fights, and drama.

but relationships can't be all bad , right? My therapist says I should go with the flow and meet and get to know some people and just spend time with them.

I am 42 so the dating pool is rough at this point. I mostly prefer to date men but i can't find a man that i like who likes me back AND we have things in common.