I can’t stop loving her

It’s been 9 months since we ended things we have been apart longer than we were together and yet I still can’t let go of our past. I did many things in the relationship that I regret some of which were the cause of the breakup. After so long and many conversations with her she says she has forgiven me but I cannot forgive myself. Knowing the fact that I hurt the one person I cared about most and in such a terrible way. She was and still is everything to me and I don’t know what to do to fix it. Every day, every conversation is pain, a sick feeling in my stomach, even now while writing this I am feeling it. She has already moved on she’s with a new guy and I’m happy for her but I can’t get over the fact that my actions caused it. All I want is her. I just wish she would come to me one of these days and tell me how much she misses me. I know she does too that’s the worst part about it and knowing that she cannot acknowledge hers or my feelings towards each other. Thou I wish she would I know it isn’t going to happen, at least not for a long time. I love her so much and I know it’s bad we still talk but I can’t stop it we have the same friends we hang out in the same friend group. I’m so tired of having to pretend like I’m okay without her, but I’m not even the thought of her just makes me regret everything I ever did. I’m so tired now and I don’t know what to do anymore.