Dear XR. Please leave me alone. [Long Post] Seeking opinions and advise.

Dear XR, why did you bother me sending me a DM here on Reddit only to interrogate me and name call me? You claim you are doing fine without me and have even posted on another subreddit claiming that i am supposedly “not your type” and that i wasnt even “that attractive” for someone you claim was so terrible to you, is ugly to you, who you hate, and someone who you tried to manipulate to abort their baby, you sure did have a lot to say in my DMs yesterday.

What i do in my life and who i am with is no longer any of your concern anymore since you were the one who left me while when i begged you to change and to stay. I admit i wasnt the best partner and that i may not have known how to love you properly, and for that i have apologized several times. You say that you are doing better without me but if thats really the case why even continue to stalk my accounts? Why even bother responding to a letter i wrote a month ago? You messaged ME! You clearly had to go fishing for this letter and you felt some type of way about it.

You accused me of cheating at absurd times, when i had true loyalty to you. I know that everything you accuse me of is nothing but you projecting about your insecurities with yourself and that guilty conscience of yours because both you and I know you had been emotionally cheating on me since a year and a half into the relationship. When i brought up some of those instances, all you could do was stay silent. Those girls you kept slut shaming while you were deployed and talked about obsessively while i waited for you to come home, i told you that that was who you were attracted to and you didnt deny it either. The very same things you called them, you call me because you are upset that you can no longer control me.

You are not upset about me at all. You didnt love me, you were just afraid of being alone. You are upset that i chose to keep my baby and that i am with my baby’s father. You have no right to wish death upon either one of them nor do you have the right to decide who i am with. YOU WALKED AWAY FROM ME! And all you kept focusing on is me being intimate with my partner. You were intimate with a tinder hookup who you have to take a viagra pill from and have been plastering your “services” to on reddit and god knows where else. Slept with god knows who else. People do copy in different ways but what i can say is that its my personal perception and personal standard that i do not want community Peen.

After you have your friends tell me i am a “cheating wh-re who deserves nothing in life and that my best bet is to stay with my baby’s father because no one else was ever gonna want me” made me realize that a person who truly loves and care for you would NEVER destroy someone that they love or let alone one else do so. But i know you were there… you enjoyed everything minute of what they had to say while you sat in silence.

Say whatever you want about me. I have already asked for forgiveness from above, from you, and from myself. All i can do from now is learn from my bad decisions, change myself for the better, grow, and make sure that i show my daughter right for wrong. You say i cant love myself so how can i love my child. I can love myself and have been, by staying as far as from you. By seeking help. By changing for me and for my baby girl. My primary focus is my daughter now and shes still hasnt arrived yet. You have the audacity to still dragged this further along than it needs to, with me being 6 months pregnant now. I stopped entertaining your bs, and I thought maybe you had changed and thats why i responded to your request to chat. But i still you still continue to post about me in negative ways, you still talk bad about my family, and you wish for me to lose my child. Karma will hit you hard than it already has. Karma hasnt finished her job just yet, she is only getting started.

You guilt tripped me about how much you say that you spent on a wedding and the venue. For what? You clearly had to like me to some extent to what to get married even AFTER YOU cheated. After CLAIMING im not your type or attractive. So what exactly were you trying to tie yourself to me for if YOU proposed to ME. Then you victim shame me for putting up for your abuse and your disrespect. Make it make sense!

As far as you should be concerned, i have a loving man who is always there for me, providing for me, and taking care of me and our unborn child. He may not have been who i wanted to spend the rest of my life with because that was SUPPOSED to be you. But he tries, and actually listens to how i feel, takes my advice and does better. I have yet to see him quit about anything!!! I dont want perfect, i want consistency, honesty, love, and for my baby to be treated right. We are growing together and have been doing very well, but that is all that you need to know. The man i wanted you to be, he is putting the effort to become. And the reason why i was so “masculine” with you is because i constantly had to have my defenses up, i have to make most of the decisions and try to help us move forward all while you never gave me the time or space to truly be vulnerable and feminine with you.

Did you try to reach out to see if you still had control over me? Did you reach out so you can try come back but realized that i will not take you back? Did you think i was just going to wait for you? Wait for you to make up your mind after sleeping with randos and whatever else, spinning the block, a wait for you to decide to come back? Hell no. The moment you walked away, i owed you ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Please leave me alone. Leave my family who once loved you and treated you like a son alone. Leave my unborn child and your death wishes about her alone. leave my partner alone. Leave everything having to do with me ALONE!

Sincerely, TJ, the person who you cant control anymore.

*All opinions and advise. welcome. I tried to refrain from making this post but i am just so angry and confused as to why even bother to reach out and “respond” to something i posted a month ago, only for him to be nasty and ugly to me and my family. Saying hes been doing great without me. I highly doubt it, or else he wouldn’t have contacted me, i wouldnt be living rent free in his mind.