Another unsure straight guy

Straight guy here... have a gf... always had girlfriends... but the last few years i've found myself on grindr etc hoping to meet a dom top with a big cock to give up that control.

It's led to me sucking a cock here and there.. which if I was being honest.. I enjoyed.

How can I be straight, only attracted to women, but want to be taken by a dom top with a big cock so badly 🤷‍♂️