Will this fix anything or make it worse?

Hey brothers,

I’m 24, and I’ve never been into intimacy before. A few girls showed interest over the years, but I always kept my distance. I’ve never disrespected anyone or crossed a line, so if anything happens now, it would be my first time.

Lately though, I’ve been mentally exhausted. I’ve started eating junk I usually avoid, making impulsive purchases, and ignoring the things I used to care about. There’s a heaviness inside like I’m just drifting through the day. I just want to bang my head on the wall.. it's this much heavy.

I'm thinking if there's any way which I can sleep for a week..that would be the best day of my life.. that's where standing atm .even if someone offer me some alcohol I'm happy to take just to feel relieved & lighter.

I shared this with a close friend someone I trust. She said maybe physical intimacy could help me feel lighter if therapy isn't working fast enough, like it would give me some emotional release. She offered to be there for me if I felt ready gently saying she’ll guide me and that it’ll feel good. I know she means well.

But the more I think about it, the more unsure I feel. I told her we should maybe wait that I might not be in the right space. But she’s still encouraging it, saying I’ll feel better after, that I need to try it once.

Truth is, I’m scared I’ll just go through the motions, not fully present. I feel like I might regret it not because of her, but because deep down I know I’m doing this out of emotional confusion, not true readiness. Even if I say yes, I don’t think it’ll help much.

Right now, I feel like even if a stranger showed me a little kindness, I’d probably break down. That’s where my head’s at.

So I’m asking genuinely:

Has anyone else been in this kind of mental state?

Did sex actually help, or did it leave you feeling more empty?

Would therapy have been the better first step?

How do you know when you truly want something, vs when you’re just seeking comfort?

I’m not looking for validation or judgment. Just honest advice from other Indian men who’ve been in dark phases and figured out what actually helps.

Thanks for reading..