Subconsciously and unwillingly holding onto hope for someone who probably isn't thinking of me

In 2023, I dated a guy for 3 months. Three. It was a really lovely 3 months but we broke up because I hung out with someone from my past (nothing happened) and he wasn't comfortable with it. Idk what he did to me, but I couldn't get past him for a full year. Then, 1.5yrs later- he texts me, telling me he's been thinking about me. Mind you, this is literally the same day I realized, "hey I haven't thought about __ in a while!"

We get into this situation-ship because he took me on a 'date' (same place we went to for our first date in 2023), kept telling me I was pretty, and then kissed me when we finally met up in january.

Next time we hung out, things started getting steamy, so I confessed I'm now abstaining til marriage (big change, understandable if he isn't comfortable with it; I made it clear there would be no hard feelings if he didn't want anything). He ends up confessing that he isn't ready for a relationship, regrets reaching out too early, but reassures me that when he IS ready, he wants me, and we can be friends until then.

Fast forward some weeks, no matter how many times I give him an out, he insists he wants a relationship with me and doesn't have a problem waiting to have sex (but admitted he's worried he's overestimating his 'tolerance' for abstinence in the future- again i can't blame him because we've already slept together in the past). He said that if he didn't want a relationship with me, he would tell me.

Eventually he reveals that he had gotten out of a relationship in November 2024- one which lasted a good chunk of that year. I asked multiple times if I was a rebound, but every time he assured me that wasn't the case.

I know I sound annoying, it was just such a weird situation, and I was convinced he felt he was in too deep to go back on what he said. I also felt- based on the fact he was clearly still processing that breakup- he wouldn't be able to even tell if he was rebounding, and he probably just went to the first comfortable thing he could think of before this ex.

Fast forward some more, and I decide it's better if we start over completely when he's emotionally available because the current situation was messing with my head too much and I don't want to harbor any resentment toward him.

No contact for about 2 months before he texts me to say happy birthday, which was sweet tbh. But I just feel conflicted at this point because I'm still convinced he doesn't actually want me and is just playing mind games. On the other hand, WHY WOULD HE DO THAT????

I can't move on because I know I still have feelings for him, but I feel stupid for NOT moving on because I don't even know if the feelings are worth anything, and I can't do anything with them except sit. In the past, it wasn't too difficult for me to get over ex-boyfriends- usually by distracting myself with another fling. This time, I've gone on other dates, developed a couple little crushes, and still find myself thinking about and wanting him. I'm fine with being single; I'm not hurting or anything, but I can't get this stupid situation out of my head. So I'm spewing it into the reddit void since I think i'd be coming up on my 1,000,000th time asking, only to receive the same answer that I won't believe. It's easier to just type it out and have the evidence that I finally got the words out of my brain and into something somewhat coherent.