Is it always this normal to still feel lonely?

Hey everyone I have made the decision to turn back to God after resisting for about a year and a half. Currently life is going for a new spin with becoming a father, getting married the year prior and also taking on a 12 hour shift job. My wife has been aware of my journey and super supportive since the beginning when I first told her of my struggles when we were dating and I cannot give her enough credit for it.

My issue with porn/masturbation began early as I was exposed at an early age to the content. Although I always felt guilty I still let my curiosity get the better of me and when I was old enough to figure out masturbation I started down that road. Still felt guilty and still kept returning back and forth for years. Some years I made excellent progress and other years it was back to the same old same old. During one of my best times in life with this journey I was engaged and I had my best friend who had group nights every Friday evening which was always great to see him, his family and overall just have fellowship. He always provided great perspective and would always lead me to new thoughts or things I have not yet considered when it came to scripture or life. About 95% of the time was him basically saying "Have you ever considered that maybe your understanding is wrong or not the full picture." I attempted to open up to him about the situation once and I did it with a simple question. "How do you deal with temptation?" and he quickly respond with "I look for the way out." and it was that simple.

I also eventually opened up to him that I struggled with loneliness and have since I was young. I have also always thought that getting married would help or completely resolve this issue. He added into the conversation eventually. "I am going to give you another spoiler to marriage. That loneliness doesn't go away." and this hurt to hear a bit. I have wanted nothing more in life but to not feel this loneliness but also be close with God. The problem is every time I get close to God I also get lonely and porn has always been great at numbing pretty much everything including the loneliness. I don't have to deal with all the other taunting thoughts as well but I am a man and apparently we are not supposed to talk about these things. Maybe that is helpful to a degree but having no way forward also is not helpful. I can accept that loneliness may be my burden to bear and attempt to give it to God. But I have asked for help with leaning on the Holy Spirit and attempting to submit unto Him but it doesn't take the loneliness away which is another reason why we need each other. But even being around people doesn't always fix it either. I don't know what I need other than to surround myself with godly holy people and lead my family to God and I don't think that alone will cure this loneliness.

Not trying to toot my own horn but I am good at finding root causes to a problem and getting as much information necessary to decipher the best next steps for a total or temporary solution. The problem is I still have yet to figure this one out. There is no holy way I have found that can resolve this loneliness and if there isn't then I just want the Holy Spirit to guide me or tell me to stop trying to fix it. I understand this is a part of my journey and I accept that. It's easy to accept it but living with it is harder. Especially when it goes away for a moment but then comes right back not too long later. I know I need to plug back in somewhere but I am afraid I will no longer be accepted. Not because I have done these things but because I always seem to eventually get rejected and I always struggle with facing that. For years the thoughts continue to taunt me when I get to this vulnerable state and the best/easiest solution was porn/masturbation but that is not holy and it is not good.

Ending Note: btw I am critical on how scripture is used. I understand some of you would like to be encouraging but please do not share a Bible verse but instead a book/chapter/story to consider. I do not believe all verses were written for mine or anyone else's well-being. Some of it is just context to the story being told in that book/chapter and for that time and yes I also struggle with pessimism from time to time.