I’m about to go FERAL

Ever since I came out as gay I’ve been foaming at the mouth over girls and it’s disastrous because I live in a fairly conservative state. I have so many pretty girls as friends but AHHH they’re my friends and I don’t want to make it weird, I’m also pretty sure they’re straight.

I love and hate seeing pretty girls just peacefully being in my line of sight and just suffering quietly. I am NOT shy but I’m still very tender about my sexuality after growing up in a homophobic household. Some girls have said I appeal to the “female gaze” OKAY BUT WHERE ARE THE FEMALES??? Ugh

I’ve only ever had one girl approach me and that’s when I was in comphet with one of my abusive ex boyfriends. She was so gorgeous I’m kicking myself for not dumping my bf and going with her. I would’ve had a killer gf by now. But I had my own issues back then. I knew i wouldn’t have been able to love a girl if I had the internalised homophobia I had back then.

Guys are the only ones approaching me and it makes me want to lowkey scream. I know how it feels to get hit on and be uncomfortable so I don’t want to make any other girl feel uncomfortable.

It’s like I’m a werewolf howling at the moon right now. I feel and sense their pheromones everywhere I go but I can’t do anything about it and it’s making me go feral. Any tips to overcome this would HELP THANK YOU!