I (27M) found out my girlfriend (25F) had an emotional and physical affair with a coworker. We’re still together, but the memories are killing me. I need honest advice.

I (27M) have been with my girlfriend (25F) for around 6 years. We’ve had a long, close relationship — we were each other’s first in many ways, and I genuinely saw her as the person I’d spend my life with.

About a year ago, she started working at a new company. I was still unemployed at the time, and it was a rough period in our relationship. We argued a lot and felt distant. Things weren’t good emotionally between us.

Six months ago, during this rough patch, she got close to a male coworker. She admits she developed feelings for him — that she "liked him" — and they started talking more. She claims she knew it was wrong but continued anyway. According to her, he played with her emotions — being distant, silent, and dramatic — which drew her in and made her feel emotionally responsible for him.

Eventually, they met up privately on two occasions and crossed physical boundaries. She told me this only after he began threatening her, saying he would tell me everything. That’s when she confessed.

Since then, we’ve had long, difficult conversations. She says she deeply regrets it, that she still loves me, and that she wants to fix everything. I've chosen — for now — to stay and try to rebuild trust. I still love her. I want to believe in second chances. But I’m struggling badly.

Even on good days, I get hit with mental images of what happened between them. I remember that she liked him, that she cared enough to meet him, that she gave him access to parts of herself that felt like they should only be mine. It breaks something in me every time.

She also still works with him. I haven’t asked her to quit, even though it burns inside, because I know it’s her dream job, and I don’t want to be controlling or toxic. But the fact they still sit in the same space adds to my emotional burden.

I’m still here. I’m trying. But I feel lost between love, hurt, and pride. I want to move forward. I don’t want to punish her, but I also don’t want to keep drowning in quiet pain just to protect the relationship.

So I need honest input from people who’ve been through something like this:

Can trust be rebuilt after something like this?

Will these memories and images ever stop haunting me?

Am I being too patient or not patient enough?

What’s fair to ask for in a reconciliation?

If you stayed, how did you make peace with what happened?

I’m not looking for sympathy — I’m looking for clarity. I want to understand what’s possible from here, and how to deal with the emotional weight of betrayal while still loving someone.

Thanks in advance to anyone who reads and replies.