Should I be the one to text first after I fucked up?

I (F26) was talking/seeing this guy Kevin (27). We met on FB Dating. Everything so far went well in the app to where we decided to exchange numbers. I went to the beach for 4th of July weekend with friends while he went to Cali to see his friends. He wanted to talk on the phone (something I don’t normally like to do, but I do so cause I was bored and wanted to talk to someone), everything went well again. The second time we talked on the phone, I noticed that’s when he’s started calling me baby or mami. I didn’t think much of it since we’re both latino and it’s usually what happens when in conversation. Fast forward to after the weekend, we FT and again everything went well, conversation was great, the vibes were there. He really wanted to go see me, everything went well until he brought up a hotel and that’s when I started to think maybe he just wanted a hookup and all but reassured me that it’s not, he wanted to go out and enjoy our time together and when we get to the hotel, we’re just gonna watch movies and cuddle. The day we finally meet, and did go to the hotel everything went well. We did ended up sleeping together. We both weren’t really expecting it to go far, but it did and we still enjoyed our two day date. I was scared at first that he was lying to me about genuinely wanting something more, but he was honest throughout the whole date. He told me things that I was surprise he mentioned, but he said he wanted to be as honest as possible and not hide things from me. The discussion about past relationships was brought up and when he mentioned his last relationship, he said that she kept accusing him of cheating and he suspected that she was cheating and she would argue and verbally and physically fight him about it everyday. I asked how long ago was that relationship, he told me 9 months ago and I thought it was too soon for him to move on but I guess some people work differently. I thought I found my future husband right here, but here is where I had my doubts about him. I asked for his insta and he gave it to me. I thought everything was great… and here is where I fucked up. I decided to snoop cause I was just curious. That’s where I noticed his whole following was girls. I thought, “okay, that’s normal most guys would follow girls cause it’s insta, like I follow some guys.” I didn’t think much of it until I noticed that a vast majority of them followed him back. I started to overthink because majority of them are gorgeous and body type wise a lot thinner than I am. I got insecure. I noticed that he liked almost every single recent post from them. Still didn’t think much of it, but I noticed that whenever I post a pic of myself in my story, doesn’t like or comment on it. That made me the most insecure. I kept thinking “you can like other girls you follow, but when it comes to me… do you even like me at all?!”. I got in my head again. Whenever we talk, he still kept the same energy with me, however when there are like breaks in between his shift at work, I would suspect for him to text me, but no I notice he’s on ig whenever I see him looking at my story or liking again another girl’s pic. I start thinking, “is he losing interest?”, I would like to add that my love life had been taking so many hits that my heart has been through the ringer this year and I’m just tired of getting played. I also haven’t been in a relationship for 7 years. I dated here and there, but I never had a boyfriend since 2018. My ex was great, literally put me on a pedestal. He ended up pushing me away instead of communicating that he wanted to end things, and for 4 years he kept coming in and out of my life because he wanted to check up on me and see how I been. It took me 2 years to get over him and when I decided to give him one more chance in 2023, he blew it again cause I knew he was going to make me a placeholder as I knew his game now. I left and never looked back. That’s when I found out last year, his ex told me he was cheating on her with me and that the toxic ex he mentioned to me was with him about a month after we ended back in 2018. I was done crying over him, but finding out years later that he left for someone else, it hurt. I was thinking this was going to be the same situation. So when Kevin and I decided to go out again, I was analyzing him strictly to see any weird behavior. At first, when he picked me up from the train station, he didn’t initiate kissing me when greeting me. Which I was honestly scared, then when we went out to eat, he was like maneuvering around to not hold my hand as much and I was starting to get worried. When we got to the restaurant, he wanted to show me a reel. As he was scrolling, he scrolled a bit too far but he quickly scrolled up to show me the reel, but I noticed. It was a girl in a bikini. Then a girl came up to us asking if the curtain behind me was where the bathroom would be, and Kevin said yes and as she was walking passed us, I noticed him doing a double take looking at her ass. I got annoyed. I understand guys always would do that, but still. As we were talking, I initially brought up if he was the jealous type. He said no and asked me the same, I’m jealous when I have to be. He asked me to clarify and I told him, well if a girl comes up to him and he entertains it, I would get upset. He brought up what happens if he doesn’t, who am I going to be mad at and I obviously said the girl cause why would I be mad at him, he then proceeded to say that his ex got mad at him whenever he doesn’t entertain it and the girl still talks to him. He mentioned that she asked him, “why didn’t you just say you have a girlfriend to cut the conversation short?”, which I firmly agreed, however he brought up saying that if that were the case, do he have to say that to girl that approaches him and I said no, but still just to respect your partner and end the conversation with the girl who is trying to flirt with you. After dinner, we went to the park. He kept bringing up poison ivy and that’s when I picked up that he touched poison ivy and he said, “yea that’s what I was trying to imply so you wouldn’t try to touch me as I don’t want it to spread to you cause I don’t know if it’s contagious or not”. I quickly googled it, it’s not and he resorted back to kissing me and holding my hand. I thought everything was great again. After a few days, I got again in my head as again, I snooped and the following keeps going up and I’m seeing new girls. I then asked my friends for advice, and they kept telling me to relax and that let things flow, that I am rushing into things. I know that but still I love hard and I didn’t want to fall for a guy who might be playing with me or placing me as a placeholder while he finds someone better. One of my friends thought I was over exaggerating about how some of the girls that he follows and follow him back were like model status and I screenshot two profiles that I felt the most insecure about, and I was already in an inbox and I thought it was my friend’s. As I sent it, Kevin’s profile bubble popped up and my heart sanked. I literally had no words to say. He then proceeded with a “Yeah?!”, and I immediately called him. I was upfront and honest about feeling insecure and that I just didn’t want it to be a situation like my ex and I wanted to know if he was seeing other people cause I didn’t want to be an option. He told me that the two girls specifically one of them is a model but they met each other in college and were just friends nothing more. He then told me that majority of the girls are friends from high school or college and like two talking stages that didn’t go anywhere, which I also have on my end so I didn’t get upset about that. So I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I jumped to conclusions. Like I never wanted to discuss it because I KNOW it was too soon to even bring it up because it was only three weeks into getting to know each other and I should’nt make it a big deal, but I was just afraid of falling hard for someone again to then get hurt. He ended the call with “bye baby” and I thought we were okay. I thought we were gonna move past this and we would continue working it out. I messaged him earlier asking how was his day and he responded back. I didn’t answer him because I was still ashamed and within an hour, he said that he wanted to be honest with me and said that “waking up” - I knew he was up since he saw my story in the morning - and seeing those profiles, it triggered him and it made him rethink whether he is ready or even wants a relationship right now. I was devastated. I thought he was giving me the same excuse every guy says to me, which is that I’m a great girl but they’re not ready for a relationship after telling them what I am looking for cause I don’t do casual and I know what I want and it’s a relationship. I date to marry. However he said that I am cool asf and very pretty but he doesn’t know if he wants a relationship. He still wants to keep seeing me and have fun but he doesn’t know when he’ll be ready. I was just crushed because I thought he was going to ask if he wants a fwb or a situationship, which I don’t want because I know I’ll get attached. I asked to clarify on what he meant by still wanting to go out and have fun and he literally meant that, he said we don’t have to sleep together if I don’t want to. I was internally crying because I knew I fucked up. I fucked up for not trusting him and that he was a very genuine guy that I fell so hard for. I told him I would be willing to wait, but I feel like if we do continue seeing each other, that I would be a placeholder or he wouldn’t want to commit to something more serious because again I don’t do casual. We then agree to be friends and still see each other. As we ended that conversation, I decided to give him space as we agree to not talk like we use to. I didn’t talk to him for three days as I was still ashamed over what happen. I then decided to reach out 4 days later. Btw he’s Peruvian and his mom is involved in the Peruvian community so he was accompaning her to all the festivities this past weekend. It honestly felt dry the conversation and he didn’t respond to my last message so I left it at that. I want to keep a connection with him. I want to fight for this connection, but I feel as though he doesn’t want to talk for now, I don’t know… He restricted my instagram account to not view my story but I don’t know what to do… I don’t want to make the same mistake I did with my ex, which was spamming him, trying to get him to talk to me. I don’t want to beg for his attention, like I been there done that. I just don’t want to lose a great guy like him. I dont know whether to reach out again or wait until he reaches out. Please give me some advice because this is really taking a toll on me…