Are these reasons for me M18 to not go for an official relationship with this girl F19?
So basically me M18 and my not gf F19 have been coworkers for almost 9 months from which I’ve gotten to know her.
She’s insanely beautiful and has a very nice and warm personality which is what drew me to her. We also hung out outside of work on a few occasions which I really enjoyed and so a couple of months ago, I made a move and asked her to my prom and she said yes. I kissed her before, and we ended up going to prom and having a great time.
However I’m at a crossroads now because I’m heading away for university to somewhere that’s almost a 2 hour drive/4 hour transit ride from/her university and I want to decide if we should move this forward into something official.
I don’t actually see the long distance thing as an issue assuming we really want to make it work, she has friends where I’m going and will visit occasionally and probably more if I’m there. Also, I’m willing to make sacrifices if I really feel like it’s worth waiting for.
But here’s where the issue lies, there’s some stuff about her that bothers me. I know everyone has their issues but still this stuff is really less than ideal. For one, she’s a lot more socially liberal than I am which concerns me because going long term, you need to have your values aligned. For example, one of our old coworkers recently started an only fans which I think is really disgusting. I didn’t tell her to do anything but every time I told her that it’s nasty she would just say “but…” she’s just tryna make money or something else without saying she didn’t approve. That’s a major red flag for me. She’s also a lot different from me culturally, she’s basically your average white girl in her values/interests while mine align closer with my Eastern European background (if you compared how much we publicly post on socials then you’d see how obvious this is).
Other than that’s, she’s also not super smart. Definitely not dumb but even the fact that she went into uni with no idea what she wanted to do (she just went cause everyone else did) is scary to me. She's probably just gonna end up with an average paying job while I consider myself extremely ambitious.
On the positives side, she’s very beautiful and a truly warm hearted person as I said before. What I didn’t mention is that she is also very selective about guys. She’s only had one kiss before and that’s it. I also feel like I can really trust her, I know for a fact I wouldn’t have to worry about her being loyal or not. She also has very good people around her, especially her friends who even if they feed into the white girl persona that I don’t really love, are all supportive and helpful to both her and me when needed.
I purposely left out/am forgetting some details so it will be impossible to pain a full picture but this is most of it.
I feel like a lot of people here will struggle to understand my perspective and why I’m so hesitant to move forward especially if this long distance thing isn’t factored in. But I’m really not the kind of guy who gives time to dating girls who I don’t think are worth it. The fact that I went this far with someone outside of my ethnicity is surprising enough to me. Regardless, I'm still lost so any insight/advice would be useful.
Posted Aug 3, 2025, 2:50 PM UTC