Numb question

I drank hard for about 25 years, got ‘sober’ and was eating like 200mg of weed gummies a day for a year after that.

Last summer I finally put everything down, and for that whole year I just felt completely numb. Couldn’t feel the warm love feelings for my wife, friends, or family. Couldn’t get passionate about work, or excited about the future.

I ended up relapsing a month ago and suddenly all the feelings came flooding back in.

After a month of 2-3 day benders followed by a few days of sobriety, I think I’m pulling up out of the relapse and getting back on the course, but I am just so sad about the idea of going back into that numbness where days just repeat in an endless cycle of blah and nothing really feels like anything.

Has anyone experienced this? Does it get better?

A year seemed like a long time to wait with no real sign of the feelings coming back.