Help! I'm stuck!

I don't know how to start a confession. This the first time I used reddit, but here it goes...

I'm a young adult — a shut in neet— I spend most of my time playing moblie games, watching seasonal animes and popular movies and series in pirated sites, and reading mangas and manhwa ever since pandemic. I didn't go to college — I was planning to enroll the next year after I graduated high school in 2019 but the pandemic happened and I got stuck in the house for a very long time. I've tried to faced my responsibilities as an individual during those times by applying to multiple jobs, but I've never once got a peck of luck. But one day, applied for a job with my childhood friends (am not gonna specify what job), unfortunately they are not qualified, but I am, and I got scared, I don't want to continue the recruitment without them, so I backed out... My first severely regrettable decision.Ever since then I never applied to a single job again. Even though my mom gives me unlimited opportunity by telling me that there are some stores and job hiring in the city proper, I just smiled and scratch at the back of my head. I've already lose count on how many opportunities I have lost. Now continuing to the current year where Im already mustered up and already have the courage to try again and escape this life of being a shut in neet, I made a half-hearted decision that scarred me. I applied for a job from a far away location — though it has a free shuttle service that will pass by in my city — and I got hired on the spot by that company, but now I'm thinking things already that swaying me from my goal. I already acquired every major requirements that they are asking us even though I haven't even started yet, I'm still waiting for my schedule for orientation. My mind is going crazy, overthinking things and giving me anxiety — like, considering the shuttle service location, will I do good in the job, will I get bullied in there, will I be able to rest well after work, will I still be able to do my hobbies even a little, will I still be able to spend time with my friends and family? And some more negative thoughts welling up in my mind, pilling up even more — I don't even know if I'm still going to continue the employment if ever I were to receive a schedule for the orientation.

I just want to help my parents with their debts but instead, I just get in the way. I don't know to myself if my decisions were right or wrong anymore... I don't know... I'm still thinking of getting a part time job if ever I didn't get a response from the company that I applied for. I even think that I'm better be at home doing house chores instead of getting in the way. And now I'm stuck. I don't know what my next move will be or the next decisions I will make.

I'm scared...