How do I move on

A few days ago I had to Deliver my baby at just 29 weeks with no heart beat. Everything you’d do in normal labor…just without hearing that beautiful cry in the end. We held her and loved her for hours. Her little nose smaller than the tip of my pinky finger. I have a two year old at home with a birthday just a couple weeks away….. and i honestly don’t know if i want to celebrate it. The relationship with my father-in-law has completely demolished after he tried arguing with me about his son not leaving the delivery room to go get food (30 minutes before she came) and still bringing him food to the room while I’ve been starved for over 48 hours and had to smell it like it was climbing up my nose. My husband’s brother and his wife are also expecting a baby and I feel like the first time I see her stomach I will break down in tears. I don’t wanna ruin my babies birthday party crying in my room the whole day or have everyone coming up to me saying sorry like it was a funeral instead. I’ve already had people standing over me in the hospital looking right through me as if I was just my babies casket. I can’t take any more of the potty looks or I’m sorry’s anymore. All I can make myself do is work. Between making tshirts, home decor, and my basic house wife chores plus some…. I’ve been able to keep quite busy but it’s the times when I run out of things to do or I’m forced to be still like time for bed. It’s hard to sleep, as soon as I close my eyes my mind starts running and there I am crying again. She has not made it back from being cremated yet as we wanted a full autopsy to know why this happened. I did want this to be my last baby but I feel I can’t leave my two year old an old child her whole life and me and my husband have always planned to have kids close in ages like him and his brothers. With myself having a large gap from my older brother, and our gapped relationship, I completely understand and want the same. But the problem is I don’t know when I start again or if I will. It really depends on what comes back in the autopsy report. If it was somthing that has very little to no chances at happening again, I’m all for trying for another baby. I don’t want to wait long. Even a full year feels to far away when you add in the 9 month pregnancy aswell. When would a good time be? Again I did have to go through everything like a normal delivery…(epidural, pushing, postpartum pain, lactation) but being only 29 weeks and baby born less then 2lbs I feel I don’t need as much healing time as I did with my first child born healthy at 39 weeks